When the unfortunate situation above happens to you, what do you do?? From my experience, most people will straightaway coin the other person an "***hole/****ker" or something along the lines. As I flip through the newspaper each day, most of the news I see are articles on the Rapists/murderers who are to be executed or who gets caught or something along the lines there. As I grow older, I've come to learn and think of such people, not as rapists/murderers/assholes but more as humans who committed a mistake, that way we are seeing the BIGGER PICTURE by putting the human being first before the act.
The revelation came when I was attending a talk lately by a prison inmate on his time in jail. Before he was caught and sent to jail he was responsible for quite a few murders/heists and things like that but now out of prison, he runs motivational talks on teaching people how to make the best out of their lives. It's amazing how people can change and learn after such events in their lives. From various books Ive read, and from other sources, most inmates in prison do have a conscience and people do feel grief and regret for what they did, but somehow, society always chooses to put the act before the human being. Terms like, murderer, rapist, robber, killer are constantly used and the list is endless. Once again, it would be good, and the world would be more peaceful if we could look at these people as a human being who committed a mistake, rather than putting the act before the person.
I remember a story set back in the 1990's when south Africa was just freed from apartheid. When the apartheid ended, Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu set up a truth and reconciliation commission. Anyone who felt that he or she was a victim of its violence was invited to come forward and be heard. Perpetrators of violence could also give testimony and request amnesty from prosecution. There was a particular case where a white policeman went up to the commission and in front of a audience, he recounted how he had tortured and killed a black activist of the ANC (African National Congress) party. As he recounted the episode, he was trembling and tears were streaming down his eyes. As he finished, a black lady stood up from the crowd, and walked towards him. Everyone was stunned and no one moved, even the security guards did not stop her. As she reached him, she put her arms around him, hugged him, and said, " I forgive you". It was such an amazing sight and shows how even when in the darkest situations, we can still put the person before the act!! If someone like her is able to forgive the killer of her husband and father of her children, I'm sure we all can learn how to do the same with others and ourselves in our lives.
So next time someone wrongs you, or you pick up the newspaper and headlines says " Killer Caught/ Murderer Caught". I hope all of you will have the courage to put the person before the act. As humans we are bound to wrong someone also from time to time or commit mistakes in our lives, therefore, it is always good to learn how to see the BIGGER PICTURE in hopes that when we do such things, people will also see the BIGGER PICTURE with us. When we commit mistakes, let us acknowledge it, forgive ourselves, learn from it and realise we ourselves are also humans who make mistakes.So to people that I have wronged before, I hope I am truly forgiven for the things Ive done as I have in some point of time regretted it dearly and learned from it to be a better person (hopefully). To those who have wronged me also, you are all humans who made a mistake and are forgiven. I am sure you'll all learn and will not repeat it again. As I forgive the people who have wronged me, I also hope I am forgiven.
Always (trying) to see the bigger picture,
Yuen
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